As parents, it can be difficult to get your kids to talk about their fears and hurts – especially when they are being bullied. Younger children need your help articulating what’s going on with them. Older children often keep their hardships to themselves out of a desire for independence or because they fear retaliation. By setting the right climate – listening, not lecturing – you can find out the facts and help put an end to the bullying.
– Dr. Edward F Dragan
Below you will find a bunch of resources written by experts in the USA and Australia to help parents if their child is being bullied, if their child is bullying others and steps parents can take at home and school to prevent bullying.
Ten Actions
Education.com published a Bullying Special Edition outlining 10 actions parents can take to prevent bullying, 10 actions if your child has been bullied, and 10 actions if your child is being bullied:
PREVENTION
TEN ACTIONS ALL PARENTS CAN TAKE TO HELP PREVENT BULLYING
Bullying Special Edition, copyright 2012, www.education.com/bullying
Research shows that one in three children is directly involved in bullying as a perpetrator, victim, or both. And many of those who are not directly involved witness others being bullied on a regular basis. No child is immune— kids of every race, gender, grade and socio-economic sector are impacted. But it doesn’t have to be this way. As parents we have the power to help reduce bullying. Here are Education.com’s top ten actions you can take to help address bullying:
Source: Education.com Bullying Special Edition, copyright 2012 http://www.education.com/
Guest Editors: Shelley Hymel, PhD, Amanda Nickerson, PhD, & Susan Swearer, PhD
MANAGEMENT
TEN ACTIONS PARENTS CAN TAKE IF THEIR CHILD HAS BEEN BULLIED
Bullying Special Edition, copyright 2012, www.education.com/bullying
If you think your child is being bullied, it’s time to take action now. Bullying is not something that just goes away on its own, it is not something that children can just “work out” without mediation, and it is not something kids will just naturally outgrow. If you know (or think) that your child is being bullied, your participation is critical to a successful outcome. Some suggested actions include:
Source: Education.com Bullying Special Edition, copyright 2012
http://www.education.com
Guest Editors: Shelley Hymel, PhD, Amanda Nickerson, PhD, & Susan Swearer, PhD
Is your child being bullied now?
Find out more about who can help support you and your child.
Get to know your legal rights and how to lodge a complaint and with whom.
Read our Get Help page and make a plan of action.
Rosalind Wiseman on ineffective advice
As educators on this issue, we owe it to the families we work with to give them our best. We have to look at our standard protocols and advice and ask ourselves a very simple question: Do we give people effective information?
Among the advice I thought was most counterproductive?
“Ignore the bully.” By the time a child reaches out to an adult, the vast majority of kids have been dealing with the bullying and trying to ignore it for a long time. The only thing that happens when you tell a kid to ignore the bully, is that they no longer think you care or are capable of helping them.
“Explain to your child that bullies are weak and insecure.” Who cares? Even if that were true, the bullies themselves don’t believe it, and that fact doesn’t help the target respond effectively to the problem.
“To avoid being bullied develop friendships and remember there is safety in numbers.” This is an example of a tip that is simply not reflective of the reality of people’s lives. Sometimes bullies are your friends and very rarely do bullying prevention tips acknowledge this fact or what to do about it. Equally unhelpful and inadequate is “safety in numbers” because you can’t depend on that being the case. In truth there’s sometimes danger in numbers because people are often encouraged by the group to fight or at the least not back down from a situation.
GREAT RESOURCES FOR PARENTS
Love is Louder: a BULLY discussion and action guide for parents
Tips on how to have a conversation with your child after watching BULLY. Also includes ideas for things parents can do to prevent bullying, create more inclusive communities and support students who may be struggling emotionally.
The Parent Action Toolkit
Adapted from The Bully Action Guide: How to Help Your Child and Get Your School to Listen by Dr Edward F. Dragan. Includes advice on How To Talk to Your Child – from young children through to teenagers – and How to Approach The School.
Ten Tips For Parents
Includes: Ten Actions All Parents Can Take to Help Eliminate Bullying; Ten Actions Parents Can Take if Your Child is Bullying Others; and Ten Actions Parents Can Take if Your Child Has Been Bullied.
Bullying Among Young Children: A Guide For Parents
Prof. Ken Rigby provides advice to parents of children who attend preschools, kindergartens and primary schools on how they can work closely with teachers to help recognise and address problems of bullying behaviour as soon as they arise.
SPECIAL NEEDS TOOLKIT: BULLY FREE WORLD
The U.S. National Center for Learning Disabilities (NCLD), AbilityPath, PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center, and Autism Speaks are proud to partner with BULLY to raise awareness about how bullying affects children with special needs.
When the Advice is Ineffective
Bullying expert and author of Creating Cultures of Dignity, Rosalind Wiseman explains the most counterproductive advice that you can give your child and why that advice doesn’t work.
Cyberbullying Prevention and Intervention Tips for Families
Created by The Anti-Defamation League this guide outlines steps you can take to prevent cyberbullying as well as guidelines to help you respond, if you learn your child/teen has experienced cyberbullying.
Creating Just and Caring Communities
Created by the Bullying Prevention Initiative at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, this road map for parents includes some concrete things that parents can do to create just and caring communities that promote respect, responsibility, and readiness.
10 Questions Primary School Parents Can Ask to Make Their Children’s Schools More Caring and Safe Places
Created by the Bullying Prevention Initiative at the Harvard Graduate School of Education.
10 Questions High School Parents Can Ask to Make Their Schools More Caring and Safe Places
Created by the Bullying Prevention Initiative at the Harvard Graduate School of Education.